Saturday, 23 June 2012

In Disguise

I have got to get out of these clothes fast before he returns.  He must not know that this is the way i clean the house all day.  I know when he leaves i am in my perfect cardigan that his mother once knitted and that skirt down to my knees.  I wish he would leave me to be myself but he doesn’t know this is who i am when he is not around.  So wearing tight jeans and my tank top makes me feel like a woman a real woman.  I feel like my skin can breath and open up to all that surrounds my very presence.  Why can’t he see it from where i stand but alas he won’t ever understand.  He was brought up in a household that was more like a convent or military barracks.  Everyone had their place and this was mine. 

I would blare the music to the heavens when he would leave.  It was brilliant and I felt the freedom embrace my very soul.  It was if it was lifting me off to another world.  I often felt like a preacher’s wife.  I really had to make the most of this time i was open to this new world.  I often walked around in nothing but a t-shirt just to feel more freedom.  Cleaning the windows with a white linen cloth i caught a reflection of myself in the glass.  Who is the person looking back?  It was like i had never seen her before.  I looked so different my light was switched on and the old me was tidied away in the cupboard with all the other old dusty worn out items.  I admired the birds flying and often wished it was me flying to my freedom.  As I took the mats from the old wooden knotted floor boards i noticed one was loose.  At first i was abit scared to look.  He did not like me snooping or having a mind of my own.  What the hell i thought to myself.  I want to see what this is underneath if anything was.  So i opened up the already gap in the boards and seen something strange in a brown sack.  I found this strange but proceeded to take it out and open it up.  Oh I wonder what it is?  Images and ideas filled my head.  As I opened it items of clothing fell from the sack.  Tight pants and torn shirt with a saucy brand on it.  What are these i thought to myself? Where did these come from?

So I decided to keep them a secret but before I could get them back under the floorboards he came through the door.  I didn’t hear you come in dear.  What are you doing? He asked.  Nothing my dear. It doesn’t look like nothing.  What have you got there I seen he was nervous and had a look on his face as if he knew.  Alright you want me to show you what are these?  What is what he exclaimed?  By the way what are you wearing I was just about to ask you the very same thing.  This is not who you are.  Well it seems i don’t know who you really are either. What do you mean he said?  I mean are these clothes belonging to you? Have you been hiding them on me? I was about to ask you the very same thing?  I never knew you did this when i was gone.  That’s the problem you never seem to know anything about me.  I have to hide who I really am because you want me to be this other person.  No i don’t this is the idea you seem to have us and this house and that’s why i hid who I was.  I guess we are both hiding who we are. 

They both looked at each other and laughed.  What are we both like?  All this time we have been acting like strangers and wearing a mask.  We could of just been the people we wanted to be all along.  He grabbed her tight jeans and placed his hard working hands around her soft gentle hips.  He placed his lips on hers and gently kissed her.  She smelt of dusty housework and lilac flowers but he didn’t mind he had the woman he loved and her curvy behind.  She ran her hands through his soft curls and held his chest close to her heart almost encased in his heart. 


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